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Monthly Archives: December 2012

Christmas 2012

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family

The month long build up and here it is, Christmas day!  The honest truth, Christmas day has never been my favorite.  It always seems like a whole bunch of expectation.  Changing my mind about this has been my children and my ever growing knowledge of Jesus. What I do love is Christmas Eve services, driving around and seeing all the lights on peoples homes, setting out the gifts the night before and having a cup of coffee as we sit in the aftermath of gift opening.  It has been a wonderful morning and the fact that I don’t just look forward to it with every ounce of my being makes it even better.  Santa delivered and we all got some special things and more importantly a day together.

Lilly left a note for Santa by the fireplace with a drawing of the beach.  When she woke up this morning, she saw the gifts from family under the tree and thought that was what Santa had brought.  Even after telling her the gifts weren’t from Santa, she still didn’t really care to move on from the tree. Eventually, we did and found our stockings and Santa’s gifts by the fireplace.  The note had magically disappeared….

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After a somewhat chaotic yet festive family service last night at church (where Lilly was an angel in the pageant,) we came home to discover Willow had a fever again.  The poor girl can’t seem to shake whatever it is that’s got her so we put our PJ’s on and watched The Polar Express.

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Despite the runny nose, teary eyes and high temperature, Willow was excited about her gifts and sometimes even more excited about Lilly’s.  After a little while, she needed to head back to bed since the sick had taken all the light from her eyes.

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While Willow took her morning nap, I rode my new beach cruiser around the neighborhood.  Things were very quiet and the wind was the only noise reaching my ears.  It was a great moment to think about the story of Jesus’ birth and the love my family has for each other.  Merry Christmas!

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Christmas Past, Present and Future

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Christmas Past

 

Since last Sunday, Willow has had to be quarantined because she has been carrying a nasty virus around that causes some pretty yucky symptoms:  herpagina.  Yes, it is called herpagina and we have no idea where she got it from.  After thinking it was just teething related fever and crankiness, we spent yet another morning at the pediatricians office where I learned the fever had subsided but the throat sores(!) had made an appearance.  So, we haven’t slept much and Wil and I have had to run errands tag team style but I think we are finally on the mend and able to enjoy the end of Advent and Christmas at church.  Fingers crossed.

It is amazing to think what life was like just one Christmas ago.  Willow was only a few months old and Lilly still had so much of that baby fat left in her cheeks.  Not even fully realizing what Santa’s visit meant, we enjoyed hosting my brother’s family for a snow filled Christmas on Lookout Mountain.

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This year is full of the mysteries of Saint Nick and the ever present reminder that it’s Jesus’ birthday.  We are three days away from a morning of pj wearing, big breakfast making, and package opening.  Lilly and I went to the mall to check out the Santa there.  We looked from afar but she was not interested in getting even within ear shot of the red clad man.  That’s okay with me and we had fun just being at the mall, just the two of us.

 

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Up until today, the weather has been relatively warm.  I am loving all the outdoor time that we are getting in winter.  Our future here is looking merry, bright and warm!

 

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Recently, I have read two different articles about all the pressures of being super mom.  I blame it on social media and I also blame the ladies that seem to perpetuate the falsehoods of perfection.  We all have our talents and strong points and just because I didn’t master breastfeeding, produce the grandest pink birthday party ever or grow my own carrots for dinner it doesn’t make me any less of a mom.  Keeping myself sane and making sure my kiddos are taken care of is all I can do some days and that should be enough.  Not to say I wouldn’t love to be able to sew every dress or whip up a craft in two seconds with enthusiasm but it might not be me that day or ever.  I write this because I have heard some fellow mommies exasperated by life and I too have been that person.

With life being so uncertain, I look to the future because being here and now is a great idea but I like looking forward to what’s to come.  Lilly put on my glasses the other day.  I was given a glimpse of the future and what she will look like when the time comes for her to wear glasses.  Her maturity astounds me sometimes and she might be a little bit too smart for her own good.  We saw a picture of a snowman and she asked me what its name was.  I said, “I bet you it’s Frosty.”  She looked at me with furrowed brow and said, “It can’t be Frosty, Frosty has a button nose and that one has a carrot nose.”

 

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Hope everyone is enjoying all those cookies and spirits like I am or at least enjoying the will power not to eat all the goodies!

Remembrance

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I’ve read a lot of comments and posts about the school shooting in Connecticut the past few days.  I learned of the shootings around 7pm on Friday night.  Wil and I were on our way to a toys for tots oyster roast party at Quigleys.  The first thing I felt was surprised that no one had told me earlier in the day and I hadn’t been on the computer that afternoon at all.  After my initial shock, I grew silent in word and thought.   As I entered Quigleys, mentally hugging my children as they were well loved by babysitters, I saw the pile of toys for children and it hurt me to just think of the victims and their presents under the tree.  The next day, after holding my girls and telling them I loved them repeatedly, I went to an ordination and during communion, it was the first time I really had thought about the victims that day.  As I joined in community with others, I finally cried for those children.  Of course we prayed for them today at church and had small candles lit for them in remembrance.  This little light …….

Truly, I can think of very few things worse then what has happened at that elementary school.  I don’t know the children or adults killed.  I have never even been to Connecticut.  Part of me is glad that I am so removed.  The distance however is short lived when it hurts me in the heart.  Through tragedy, I have found some joy.  “After the flood all the colors came out.”  Lilly’s eyes sparkled a renewed innocence and her voice was sweeter then ever. I held Willow as close as she’d let me in church.  Tragedy brings new perspective…..eventually.

All of the questions we have right now, all of the anger, all of the sadness, just all of it makes us human.  I have seen some very angry comments comparing apples to oranges.  We can’t compare this.  The government can’t fix it.  God is present in my thoughts as I pray for their souls but I can only start to know how unbelievable a loss like this must be.  I know that I would question God.  I know that I do question God.

The conversations I have had about the shooting have either been with God, in my own head, or through social media.  Most humans are uncomfortable with spoken words at times when no word seems grand enough to explain how we feel.  I pray that the parents find peace.  I pray for teachers.  I pray for the mentally ill.  I pray for the children as images of their fear and confusion flash in my mind……God have mercy.

A Union of Love

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light

 

It has been a festive past few days.  Kei Kei and Pepaw came to visit and we went shopping, built gingerbread houses,

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went to Lessons and Carols at church, visited Brookgreen Gardens for their Night of Thousand Lights,

 

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the boys went fishing and the girls walked on the beach collecting treasure.

 

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Pepaw is celebrating his birth next week so we were able to celebrate that while celebrating the waiting time for Jesus’ birth.

I’ve been debating on getting the flu shot and I think I have psyched myself out because every morning I wake up wondering if I have the flu.  Sounds strange and it does go away after a cup of coffee but my paranoia about this runs deep for some reason.  Like most of us, I hate being sick but during Christmas, being sick just isn’t an option.

For now, we are healthy and mostly happy.  This morning, Lilly changed her shoes and hair bow at least five times and by the fifth time I was getting pretty frustrated since it was beginning to make us late for school.  So, I began tapping my foot and speaking in a “hurry it up” tone.  Lilly looked up at me from the closet floor and asked, “You’ll be happy now mommy?”  I could actually feel my brow wrinkles loosen up and my frowny face give way to a peaceful complexion.  That girl has a way of making me check myself and my attitude.

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Wil is working harder then usual (if that is even possible) and won’t be home for one single dinner this week.  Lessons and Carols (hosted this year at Holy Cross) was magical and his statement and blessing at the end, for all of us to exist within the church with diversity and a union of love and prayer focused on the same ultimate goals really touched me.  That Priest man makes me proud.

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Hey Jealousy

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Lights

December is here and with that comes an array of mixed emotions.  Since entering into adulthood, December is always a month that goes so much quicker then the others for me.  When I was a kid, it seemed like the longest wait from when the decorations were put up to actual Christmas day.  Since advent wasn’t really in my vocabulary before becoming Episcopal, I am always surprised by the seriousness and solemness of advent.  I rather like it since that subdued waiting period makes the colors of Christmas day even brighter.

This Sunday, I tried a photo shoot with the girls dressed in some holiday colors.  The photo shoot went a little something like this:

“Okay, you gals stand next to each other and look this way.”

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“Well, how about just Lilly.  Let me take some of just Lilly in the rocking chair.”  Willow wonders off to gnaw on an ornament.  Lilly works her super model powers.

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Willow comes wondering back into the photos but sees that Lilly now has a chair to sit in.

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Trying to break up the battle over the rocking chair, “Hmmm, maybe just a few of Willow in the chair.”

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“Welp, that’s not gonna work.  Hurry Lilly, stand next to your sister!”

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So, there you have it folks.  I am not going to even attempt Santa this year.  If we happen upon him one day, maybe down a dark alley or walking across the road, maybe then I might get a good picture.  Don’t hold your breath.

In weather news (because now I love to talk about weather, a sign of age no doubt or beach life), it is 70 degrees here this first week of December and I. am. loving. it.  We are headed to the beach today to soak up the rays and dip our toes in the waters.  We went last week too because it wasn’t quite 70 but it was still warm.  I repeatedly told the girls not to get in the water because I had brought zero preparations for such courageous activity.  Well, it took them about 10 minutes and they were both drenched.  Lesson learned.

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Willow is finally saying something and consistently:  “hello”  The catch is that she only says it randomly to strangers.  She also has her 15 month appointment this week to make sure all her parts are working.  I can already tell you that they are and they are better then ever.  At church, she wows the audience with her new looking down and spinning routine.  The folks eat it up and sometimes she reaches out for  a random lucky persons arms.

 

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Lilly has been showing her jealous side.  I’ll say how cute Willow is and Lilly will attempt the same look and ask if she’s cute too.  Lilly is also asking lots of why questions but it comes out, “Do you know why that sign has lights?” and she asks it as if she will answer it when I say I don’t know but instead she says, “No, why?”

Never a dull moment, naps always needed, smiles when they count……

 

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