Today started out with sunny skies and mild weather. Both girls slept until the sun was heavy in the sky. Since Wil’s been working and traveling for four days in a row, I was looking forward to some time for myself, time for quiet and getting to- do lists things accomplished. The day had other plans.
It was one of those days where battles were fought and time outs were had. I felt barely present as we drove from place to place mailing things and going to classes. Messes were cleaned up at a snails pace and the minute one was clean, two more surfaced. I made dinner halfheartedly which led to no one really eating much but still a lot to clean. More battles were fought at bath time and as I tried putting Willow’s diaper on her as she wriggled and tried to get free, I just gave up. I took her down from the changing table and her little naked body disappeared around the door as she ran from me in glee. Instead of the chase or calling out demands, I just sat down. I sat down and I waited.
5 minutes went by and Wil showed up from work. He walked in to where I was sitting and seeing the blank expression on my face, he lassoed naked Willow, got her ready for bed then Lilly showed up with jammies on and teeth brushed wanting to snuggle with me. Willow calmed down and brought me a book to read and I heard Wil sweeping the dinner off the floor as I am sure he questioned what was for dinner anyways. We sat, and rocked, and read and I watched as Wil scooped up Willow -her little bare feet dangled from his arms with happy movements and she quietly and easily went to bed. Then, Lilly hoped into bed, and gave me hugs and is slowly finding her way to sleep quietly and easily.
It took me completely giving up on my need to keep in motion. It took me totally throwing in the towel and having no energy to come up with a clever way to solve the same problems. It took my body saying, “You’re done. Sit down and it will be.” And it was. I ended up with a happy last 30 minutes of the day that was so wanting to defeat me. The day to day can be exhausting and sometimes overwhelming. Tomorrow holds for me new energy to spend, new ways to count the time, and more smiles mixed in with all those other emotions. If we were in a huddle, it would be time to yell some team slogan as we threw our arms in the air and patted each others butts.