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Monthly Archives: November 2014

Boundaries

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Something I have been working towards is accepting when friendships don’t work especially when they were difficult to begin with.  For some reason, I have a hard time with this because part of me feels like a failure when relationships don’t work out.  Last weekend, I went with Wil to the Episcopal Church in South Carolina’s General Convention.  I go to these things when I can (Thank You Kei Kei and Pepaw!) for three reasons:  1.) I would have no idea what is going on in the church if I didn’t  2.)To support and be with Wil and 3.) To hang out with other clergy spouse and non-priest participants.  The whole event was relatively smooth with just a few boring parts and a couple of hiccups.  The thing I came away with was how much love this group has for each other.  Bishop vonRosenberg is just about as special as they come and he had me in tears when he thanked Annie, his wife, for all that she does.  This woman has a story to tell and with smiles and a light heart, she informs me of the who’s who and the back stories that I am totally oblivious to.  In some ways, I feel very much so under her wing but it is a wing that is as light as one feather and  invisible unless you really look for it.  After coming away from the weekend with so much in my mind and in my heart, I reflected on my relationship with her and a few other people in my past that stand out as true gems, people that God truly talks through.  With a long car ride home, Wil and I discussed the boundaries we have with people and how sometimes we think the folks that we have no boundaries with are the easiest friendships but boundaries can lead to a lot of respect and a lot love.  As a clergy family, friendships without boundaries are almost unheard of so it is nice to think it has a silver lining.

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Instead of “actually” Willow says “nasacally” and sings the Pippi Longstocking song on repeat and loudly.  Lilly is back in dance class (much to my happiness) and really into reading simple books.  I love watching her be so proud of herself.  They are both excited about the upcoming holidays.

 

Wil has been working a lot.  That’s advent around here.  He did manage to get himself assigned as the Chaplin for the Midway Fire Department.  We now listen to calls on the scanner and he has gotten to ride in the truck.  I have to admit the hat looks good on him. 🙂

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I’ve been subbing a lot for the preschool which has been great but really gets in the way of my ME time. 😉

I’ve also been struggling with whether to put Lilly in Montessori school next year.  There are good arguments going on in my head for both sides.  So, as I reflect on all the boundaries I have set up in my life, from being a parent to my kids and not a friend and being an example of an Episcopalian to my friends, I realize that it isn’t always easy but the benefits are many.

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Empty Cart = Joy

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Fall is here and the cord grass has changed colors.  The sand feels different and it actually has been cold enough for jackets and boots.  In true holiday fashion, our calendar has been crowded with great things.  We had the best Halloween since moving here thanks to our friends.  We made spooky snacks for church, had school parties, and trick or treated until we just didn’t want to anymore.  It felt good to be involved with all the school things and even better to have a firepit and friends to share a great day.  The only scary thing that happened was trying to put kids to bed after all that.

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Now we are gearing up for Thanksgiving and as much as I like hearing what everyone is thankful for, I found myself wanting more recently.  I was doing regular errand shopping with a few treats for stockings and my first peppermint mocha coffee in hand when I was getting frustrated at not being able to get more. Prices were too high and my cart was already too full.  What was supposed to be a nice morning out for me alone (ALONE!) was becoming  a game of mental budgeting and excess.  Then, I was reminded at the abundance I have.  I was given the chance to be reminded that some people have virtually nothing.  Not even the basics like a safe home to live in.  My heart became full at my opportunity to learn and even give.  I put back a few things I knew we didn’t need so I could get the satisfaction of a worthy sacrifice.  What was turning into an empty space became filled with hope and love.

 

This morning as I had a cavity filled, I tried to remember how wonderful it is that I can even go to the dentist but people, it was tough because I HATE it.  I almost cried I hate it so much. So, I’m trying to remember not to discuss how awful it is with Lilly so she won’t be terrified when she has to go through it one day.  In other news, Wil is growing out his facial hair for no shave November to bring awareness to men’s health at Holy Cross.  The holiday clergy schedule looms and I try not to complain. Insert big fake smile here but with only half of my face because the other half is still numb.